Agonizing Over Childcare Options? Everything You Need to Make the Right Choice

I finally got ahold of the third daycare on my list, my last choice. “Do you have any openings for an 18-month-old?” I asked hesitantly. 

I wanted the best school for my son. I’d accepted the hard fact that I couldn’t stay home with him. And I was determined that he’d attend the best daycare possible. Well, that plan was quickly foiled when I started calling daycares. Instead of the best daycare, we were down to any daycare with space for him. 

One of the most daunting tasks we face as working moms is choosing who will care for our children. Having great childcare can make all the difference in your transition back to work.

There are many different childcare options available to you. And you might be wondering if you should choose a nanny vs daycare. My kids have been in and out of all of them over the years, so I know the pros and cons of each.

When to Start Looking for Childcare

Start looking for childcare as soon as possible. If you just found out you’re pregnant, start doing some research and contacting daycares right away. If you think a family member might watch your baby, get an answer from them as soon as possible.

Many daycares won’t take babies and the ones that do prioritize families who already have a child enrolled. If this is your first baby and you think you’ll return to work, get on that waitlist! 

Have a Backup Plan

It doesn’t hurt to secure more than one option for childcare. Plans change. Things don’t always work out. It never hurts to have a backup.

You typically don’t pay anything to put your child on a waitlist. When a space becomes available the daycare can call you and you are under no obligation to take the spot. 

Different Types of Childcare – Nanny vs Daycare

When you simplify your options, you have a nanny vs daycare.

I am referring to a nanny as someone who watches only your kids and daycare as a place where other children are also being watched. 

Nanny – Family Member

If you have a family member who you trust, this can be a great option. I know many parents who have been happy having Grandma as a caregiver long-term. 

Pros 

• Your child is with someone who loves them and will continue to be a part of their life.
• You may have some control over how your family member cares for your child (following certain routines, eating certain foods, etc.) 
• You may be responsible for providing/preparing meals
• Flexible schedule
• Cheap or free

Cons 

• Possible strain on your relationship with this family member 
• You may have less control over how your family member cares for your child (they may not follow your procedures, discipline methods, or respect your wishes as a parent)
• Over time your child may begin to listen to this family member more than you. 
• Often you have to purchase duplicate items to have at this family member’s house – like a high chair, favorite toy, white noise machine, etc.
• No socialization with other children

When it comes to family members, it all depends on the specific family member and the scenario. If you feel your family member is doing you a HUGE favor by watching your child(ren), you may be less inclined to speak up about things you may have issues with. Or you may not care about the little details.

Likewise, your family member may feel more freedom to overhaul your routines or parenting style because they are with the child most of the day, not you. 

Items to Make the Transition Smoother

• Bento Boxes* for lunches
• Bento Lunch Bag
• Travel cup
• Comfort Item
• Bottles

Nanny – Nanny or Recurring Babysitter*

This is someone who you hire to watch your child(ren) on a regular basis while you’re at work. This may be an experienced nanny or someone who babysits. 

Pros

• You choose who to hire
• Child(ren) will be cared for in their own home with their items
• You don’t have to transport child(ren) to and from a place alongside your commute to work
• Your routines, procedures, and expectations can be followed
• Your child(ren) is/are the sole focus of the caregiver
• You may be responsible for providing/preparing meals

Cons 

• Finding a good nanny can be difficult 
• This option may cost more, depending on the circumstances 
• You are allowing a stranger into your home with your children
• You have to pay certain taxes for having a household employee
• No socialization with other children

Items to Make the Transition Smoother

• Cameras
• Baby Monitor
• Additional car seats if your nanny will be transporting your children

Related: How to Hire a Nanny Legally

Daycare – Large Facility 

This is a large daycare center that has classrooms for different groups of children. 

Pros 

• Surveillance
• Socialization 
• Learning/Curriculum
• Structure 
• Drop off and pick up from school 

Cons

• Changing caregivers 
• High child-to-caregiver ratios
• Expensive 
• Not adaptable to individual children
• You pay to keep the spot even if your child can’t attend
• Kids get sick often from exposure to other children
• No flexibility with pulling your child out for a period of time 
• Difficult to get into

Large daycares are more like a school. Parents may see this as an investment in their children’s learning. 

Daycares offer the opportunity for you child to socialize with others. Socialization and comradery don’t begin to develop until 3 years old. If your child is under 3, don’t worry about this. 

One of the main problems with daycares is the lack of individualized care. You child is just one of many kids.

These are also expensive. And spots are the most difficult to secure.

Items to Make the Transition Smoother

• Nap Mat
• Backpack with their name or a name tag
• Pacifier Clip with Name

Daycare – Home Daycare

These daycares are run out of a provider’s home. There are small and large home daycares. A small one (if you can find it) is going to be about 3-4 kids and a large one is around 10-15 kids (depending on the laws where you live). 

Pros 

• One or two consistent caregivers 
• Structured environment 
• Socialization 
• Cheaper than large daycare facilities 
• May offer part-time or certain days of the week

Cons 

• Typically no surveillance 
• Kids get sick often 
• You have to pay even if your child doesn’t attend 
• You have to keep your child in to hold his/her spot 
• The TV is sometimes used as a babysitter 
• Possible neglect

These home daycares tend to be a more affordable option than large facilities. Your child will get the chance to have one consistent caregiver, which is a positive for young children. 

One of the biggest concerns with these daycares is that you don’t know what’s going on behind the doors. Is your child sittign in front of a TV all day? Is he being watched at every point? An anxious mom can worry endlessly. 

Items to Make the Transition Smoother

• Nap Mat
• Backpack with their name or a name tag
• Pacifier Clip with Name

Related: Characteristics of a Good Daycare: Everything You Need to Know

The Breakdown

*Ratio for infants, based on ratios for California (your state may have different requirements). 

**1:4 for small home daycares. Large home daycares can have up to 15 children, with no more than 4 infants, for 2 adults. 

It Takes A Village

Have you ever heard the phrase “it takes a village to raise a child?” Well, I’m pretty sure this was in reference to childcare. 😅

When considering a nanny vs daycare for your child, sometimes the best option is all of the above. Kids get sick from daycare and the daycare won’t take them. What do you? It’s always important to have a backup plan. And then back up your backup.

A combination of the four options might also work best for you. Maybe you can work from home two days a week, a family member can watch them one, and you can put them in daycare the other two. The possibilities are endless when you have a lot of options available.

Related: How to Afford Childcare — 5 Tips to Drastically Cut Costs + Save Money

Choose Wisely

The answer on the other end of the line was “no” for my third-choice daycare. At the last minute, I was able to find a home daycare for my son that was 35 minutes from my house in the wrong direction from my 20-minute commute to work. It left me driving almost an hour after work to get him. Then another 35 minutes (or more with traffic) to get back home. 

Because of my procrastination, we were left with this less-than-ideal scenario for a time. I urge you not to make the same mistake.

Childcare is one of the great, unexpected challenges of motherhood. I hope this information helps you secure the perfect space for your child, so you aren’t scrambling to find “anywhere” at the last moment.

Need more support navigating all of these new things as a new mom? Join the Librarian Mom Community to get my best advice and perks directly to your inbox.