5 Genius Tips for Recovering From a C-Section With a Toddler
I sat in my doctor’s office, 6 months pregnant, swinging my feet off the table like a nervous girl. “Do you want a V-BAC so you can have a quicker recovery?” My doctor questioned.
“I have an 18-month-old,” I breathed out as my anxiety surfaced. “I don’t know how I’ll take care of him if I have another C-Section.”
“You’ll have to,” was her response. “There’s a high likelihood that’s what will happen, and you’re going to have to figure it out.”
So I did. And I’m sure many other C-section moms have, too.
If you’re where I was, I’m here to let you know that with a few tweaks, it can be done. You can recover from your C-section without incident with one or more toddlers. But you have to be prepared.
Challenges to Expect
In the first two weeks after your C-section, you aren’t allowed to drive or lift anything heavier than your baby. It’s important to take these instructions seriously.
I’ve heard of many moms who ignored them only to end up tearing stitches open.
It’s just as important to take care of yourself after your surgery as your baby or your toddler. You can’t take care of them if you’re back in the hospital.
The good news is I have some great tips for navigating this time without ignoring your toddler, laying in bed all day, or tearing your stitches.
Adjusting Your Expectations
If this is your second C-section, you may be in for a completely different experience than your first. If your first was an unscheduled or emergency C-section, and this one is planned, your recovery will probably be much easier.*
My first C-section was unscheduled after 36 hours of induced labor, and my second ended up being scheduled at the last minute.
With my first, I was barely able to get out of the hospital bed, and with my second, I was walking around the room like nothing happened a day after my C-section.
I only need the first two weeks when I couldn’t drive or lift my toddler to be protected. After that, with the tips below, I was able to handle my newborn and toddler, while recovering from my C-section without many issues.
*Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor. This information is based on my own experience and the experience of other C-section moms.
Laying the Ground Work
In the months before your baby is born, there are a few things you can do to start preparing your toddler. It’s important to lay this ground work early on so you can approach the topic calmly. It also helps keep your toddler from seeing the new baby as the problem.
Tip 1: Read C-Section Books
Pick up the book Big Things: A Story for Older Siblings of C-Babies and/or Mommy Has a C-Section and begin reading them with your toddler a few months before your baby is born. These books are written to help your toddler understand your C-section and manage their expectations of you during this time.
Tip 2: “Mommy Can’t Get Up Right Now”
In the months before your baby is born, practice the phrase “Mommy can’t get up right now.”
Every once in a while when you are sitting down and your toddler asks you to get up, simply say “Mommy can’t get up right now” and dont’ let him/her drag you out of the seat. This helps prepare them for times that you will be resting or breastfeeding after the baby is born. And keeps your toddler from blaming the baby when you can’t immediately jump up to meet his needs.
Tip 3: The Car Seat
“You stand right here on the sidewalk while Mommy gets the baby out,” I instructed my son, hoping he wouldn’t immediately dart into traffic when I turned my back.
I nervously walked a few steps to the car, looking over my shoulder every few seconds. As I lifted the car seat, I looked over to see my toddler was gone.
“Liam!” I yelled, trying not to panic. To my surprise, a stranger in the car next to me responded, “He’s there,” pointing to where he’d wandered.
I thanked him and quickly headed to my toddler with my heart pounding. There has to be an easier way, I thought.
Well, there was and I’m sad to say it took me months to figure it out.
Teach your toddler to get in and out of the car on the baby’s side. Simple as that. Do this before your baby comes.
Also, have your toddler practice climbing in and out of his carseat himself if he doesn’t already. First borns love to help, so make sure you let him know that this is a big way he can help you.
It seems so simple, but I missed it for a long time. I want to make sure you don’t. When you get in the car, open the baby’s door and have your toddler get in first. Strap in the baby. Then go to the other side of the car and strap in your toddler. They’re both in the car and safe the whole time.
When you get out of the car. Unstrap your toddler. Then close his door and go to the baby’s door. Get the baby out and help your toddler out with your other hand.
Tips for Success
Here are a few ways that you can set things up in the few weeks after your C-section to help you get through the roughest time.
Tip 4: Help!
Arrange for someone to be in the home with you at all times during the first two weeks of recovery. I know this may be a challenge for some of you, but this was the most helpful tip for me. My husband stayed home the first week. The second week, my mom took off work and came over during the day to help.
This gave me some time to recover and adjust to all the newborn things, while knowing my toddler was cared for.
When week 3 rolled around, I was ready and able to juggle both kids on my own (as ready as I could be for 2 under 2).
Tip 5: The Temporary Toddler Bed
My biggest concern with my toddler was the crib. How would I lift him in and out of the crib? If you have help during the first two weeks it may end up being a non-issue. If you don’t, convert the crib to a toddler bed for a few weeks (or buy a toddler bed). Do this right before the baby comes.
If your toddler is trained to sleep in the crib, he won’t venture out of it for a few weeks. Once you can lift him again, turn that thing back into a crib. Because after a few weeks, he’ll learn he can get out. 😱
Make sure you put a side rail on the toddler bed so your toddler doesn’t fall off.
Side note: Don’t make the mistake of moving your toddler out of the crib before he’s ready. Buy a 2nd crib if you have to. Moving him early will open up a world of extra nighttime troubles that you don’t need right now.
A Few Extra Tips
Co-Sleeping
If you’re still co-sleeping with your toddler, try to get him into his own bed long before your baby is born. Read my guide on how to stop co-sleeping if you need help doing this gently.
Potty Training
Begin potty training as soon as you find out your pregnant or wait until 3 to 4 months after your baby is born. The last thing you want is your toddler adjusting to using the potty and a new sibling at the same time. Read my post on potty training mistakes for more on the subject.
“I have to send you to labor and delivery,” My doctor said, giving me a serious look at my 36 week appointment. “And we talked about a V-BAC before. That’s all gone now. Expect to have a C-section tonight.”
At that point, all that mattered was the safety of my baby and she was right, I’d have to figure out how to take care of my toddler. And I did. And you will too.
If you follow the tips I’ve given you, recovering from your C-section with your toddler will be manageable. And you’ll find that you’re capable of more than you ever thought.
Want More Help Navigating Your C-Section?
If this is your first C-section, I have a great recovery plan that you can get free when you Join the Librarian Mom Community. Plus, you’ll be a part of our community with new mom support, tips for navigating mom life, and ideas for raising readers. Because no one should have to face motherhood alone.
