Agonizing Over Childcare Options? Everything You Need to Make the Right Choice
I finally got ahold of the third daycare on my list, my last choice. “Do you have any openings for an 18-month-old?” I asked hesitantly.
I wanted the best school for my son. I’d accepted the hard fact that I couldn’t stay home with him. And I was determined that he’d attend the best daycare possible. Well, that plan was quickly foiled once I started calling daycares. Instead of the best daycare, we were down to any daycare that would take him.
As working moms, one of the most daunting things we have to do is choose who will care for our babies/children. Having great childcare can be the difference between feeling happy as a working mom and being so worried and upset about leaving your children that you hate working.
There are a lot of different childcare options available and I’m going to cover the pros and cons of all of them. So you can decide what’s best for your family.
When to Start Looking for Childcare
Start looking for childcare as soon as you possibly can. If you just found out you’re pregnant, you want to start doing some research and contacting daycares right away. If you think a family member might be able to watch your baby, talk to them about it as soon as possible. Get on the waitlist for a good daycare as a backup.
I remember reading similar advice when I was pregnant with my first baby and I felt like it was an over-exaggeration. Let me tell you, it isn’t. Many daycares won’t take babies and the ones that do prioritize families who already have a child enrolled. If this is your first baby, get on that waitlist!
Have a Backup Plan
It doesn’t hurt to secure more than one option for childcare. You never know when something isn’t going to work out. Normally you don’t have to pay anything to put your child on a waitlist. When a space becomes available the daycare can call you and you are under no obligation to take the spot.
I would recommend putting your child on at least one daycare waitlist if there is a possibility you might need it. The last thing you want is a plan falling through and leaving you with nowhere for your child(ren). (I’ve been there.)
Different Types of Childcare – Nanny vs Daycare
So now that we’ve established that you need to start looking for childcare immediately and you need to secure more than one viable option, let’s talk about what your options are. And it basically comes down to a nanny or a daycare.
For the purpose of this, I am referring to a nanny as someone who watches only your kids (or your kids and other family members) and a daycare as a place where other children are also being watched.
Nanny – Family Member
If you have a family member who you trust, this can be a great option. I know many people who have been happy having Grandma as a caregiver.
Pros
- Your child is with someone who loves them and will continue to be a part of their life.
- You may have some control over how your family member cares for your child (following certain routines, eating certain foods, etc.)
- You may be responsible for providing/preparing meals
- Flexible schedule
- Cheap or free
Cons
- Possible strain on your relationship with this family member
- You may have less control over how your family member cares for your child (they may not follow your procedures, discipline methods, or respect your wishes as a parent)
- Over time your child may begin to listen to this family member more than you.
- Often you have to purchase duplicate items to have at this family member’s house – like a high chair, favorite toy, white noise machine, etc.
When it comes to family members, it all depends on the specific family member and the scenario. If you feel your family member is doing you a HUGE favor by watching your child(ren), you may be less inclined to speak up about things you may have issues with. Or you may not care about the little details.
Likewise, your family member may feel more freedom to overhaul your routines or parenting style because they are with the child most of the day, not you.
Items to Make the Transition Smooth
- Bento Boxes* for lunches
- Bento Lunch Bag
- Travel cup
- Comfort Item
- Bottles
Nanny – Nanny or Recurring Babysitter*
This is someone who you hire to watch your child(ren) on a regular basis while you are at work. This may be an experienced nanny or someone who babysits.
Pro
- You choose who to hire
- Child(ren) will be cared for in their own home with their items
- You don’t have to transport child(ren) to and from a place alongside your commute to work
- Your routines, procedures, and expectations can be followed
- Your child(ren) is/are the sole focus of the caregiver
- You may be responsible for providing/preparing meals
Cons
- Finding a good nanny can be difficult
- This option may cost more, depending on the circumstances
- You are allowing a stranger into your home with your children
- You have to pay certain taxes for having a household employee
Items to Make the Transition Smooth
- Cameras
- Baby Monitor
- Additional Car Seats if your nanny will be transporting your children
Daycare – Large Facility
This is a large daycare center that has classrooms for different groups of children.
Pros
- Surveillance
- Socialization
- Learning/Curriculum
- Structure
- Drop off and pick up from school
Cons
- Changing caregivers
- High child-to-caregiver ratios
- Expensive
- Not adaptable to individual children
- You pay to keep the spot even if your child can’t attend
- Kids get sick often from exposure to other children
- No flexibility with pulling your child out for a period of time
- Difficult to get into
Large daycares are more like a school. Parents may see this as an investment in their children’s learning.
Another pro that is commonly noted is the socialization aspect. From what I’ve read, socialization and comradery don’t begin to develop until after 3 years, regardless of the program that you put them in. If your child is under 3, don’t worry about this.
One of the main problems that I had with large daycares, was the idea of my baby and toddler not getting individualized care. They are just one of many kids. These also tend to be quite a bit more expensive than home daycares. And they are the most difficult to secure a spot.
Items to Make the Transition Smooth
- Nap Mat
- Backpack with their name or a name tag
- Travel cup
- Pacifier Clip with Name
Daycare – Home Daycare
There are small home daycares and large home daycares. A small one (if you can find it) is going to be about 3-4 kids and a large one is around 10-15 kids (depending on the laws where you live).
Pros
- One or two consistent caregivers
- Structured environment
- Socialization
- Cheaper than large daycare facilities
- May offer part-time or certain days of the week
Cons
- Typically no surveillance
- Kids get sick often
- You have to pay even if your child doesn’t attend
- You have to keep your child in to hold his/her spot
- The TV is sometimes used as a babysitter
- Possible neglect
These home daycares tend to be a more affordable option than large facilities. Your child will get the chance to have one consistent caregiver, which is a positive for young children.
One of the biggest concerns with these daycares is that you don’t know what’s going on behind the doors. Is your child being sat in front of the TV all day? Are they being watched at every point? An anxious mom can worry endlessly.
Items to Make the Transition Smooth
- Nap Mat
- Backpack with their name or a name tag
- Travel cup
- Pacifier Clip with Name
The Breakdown
| Family Member | Nanny | Daycare Facility | Home Daycare | |
| Cost | $ | $$$ (cost varies) | $$$ | $$ |
| Surveillance | no | yes (recommended) | yes | no |
| Meals | often you provide & prepare | often you provide & they prepare | provided | provided |
| Time | generally somewhat flexible | generally very flexible | not flexible | not very flexible |
| Socialization | No (unless watching other children) | No | Yes | Yes |
| Ratio for Infants | 1:1 | 1:1 | 1:4* | 2:12 children** |
*Ratio for infants, based on ratios for California (your state may have different requirements).
**1:4 for small home daycares. Large home daycares can have up to 14 children, with no more than 4 infants, for 2 adults.
It Takes A Village
Have you ever heard the phrase “it takes a village to raise a child?” Well, I’m pretty sure this was in reference to childcare. 😅
Sometimes the best option is all of the above. Kids get sick from daycare and the daycare won’t take them. What do you do then? It’s always important to have a backup plan. And then back up your backup.
A combination of the four options might also work best for you. Maybe you can work from home two days a week, a family member can watch them one, and you can put them in daycare the other two. The possibilities are endless when you have a lot of options available.
Choose Wisely
The answer on the other end of the line was “no” for my third-choice daycare. At the last minute, I was able to find a home daycare for my son that was 35 minutes from my house in the wrong direction from my 20-minute commute to work. It left me driving almost an hour after work to get him. Then another 35 minutes (or more with traffic) to get back home.
Because of my procrastination, we were left with this less-than-ideal scenario for a time. I urge you not to make the same mistake.
Childcare is one of the great, unexpected challenges of motherhood. I hope this information helps you secure the perfect space for your child, so you aren’t scrambling to find “anywhere” at the last moment.
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